The Barnes Family

I remember feeling on the verge of tears alot after having Wyatt. That song, "your gonna miss this" had just come out and I would cry everytime I heard it! Or when I would sit and just rock and look at him, I'd want to cry! This time around I find myself crying sometimes for no reason at all or for very stupid reasons! Saturday was my day to just be sad and cry! I cried because my husband made plans for the day without even thinking of me, then I cried more because he said he wouldn't talk to me until I stopped crying, then I cried with my mom while we waited for our meal at chick-fil-a, then I would just randomly start throughout the rest of the day! At Church the next morning, I cried! Before service when the lady behind us was talking about her little boy and I started talking about Wyatt (dint worry she didnt see this!) Then when service started and I was very moved by our praise and worship! I cry thinking about my life with just Wyatt and how things have chang...

Have you ever wanted to remember a moment so bad, that when you feel like it's starting to slip away you stop for a minute, close your eyes, and try to replay it again and again? I did this with our wedding! Months of planning for one short day, that seems to fly by! A special day that you will never have again. It's kinda sad! I remember it but not as clearly as I'd like. Or the birth of our son Wyatt. I remember that moment of Todd holding him all wrapped up and then later the first time I held him but man do I wish I had that on video!!! I remember more clearly hearing McKinleys first cry and seeing her right after she came out. Looking at her for the very first time! Again, I wish this moment was on video. More than anything I wish these moments would stay more clear in my mind. I'm kinda sad that again, the birth is over, the 10 months of waiting is over, the first couple minutes/days/nights are gone and time is not slowing down! I look at Wyatt and then McKinley a...

Yes! It has been a great night! 9:15- baby asleep 1:00- up to eat 1:23- asleep 4:45-I wake her to eat 5:11- she just went to sleep! So far.... I like it!!! Actually no I LOVE it!!

Every morning my mom gets Wyatt out of his crib and they go to the playroom or downstairs to get breakfast. He always looks in the room and on the bed and asks "baby? Ma?" (yes, this is what he is calling me these days!) My mom tells him where we are but as soon as he sees me, "baby! baby! Hold! Hold!" This morning I was nursing the baby in our bed and Wyatt crawled right up next to me and got as close to her as he could and kissed her head. Then he just sat there and said, "baby, baby!" He gets very upset, to the point of tears if he can't always see her or hold her. There is no doubt in my mind that he LOVES his baby sister.

Right now I'm nursing McKinley and doing anything on this iPhone I can to stay awake! I have been thinking about how different this nursing experience is compared to with Wyatt and thanking God everyday for an answered prayer! She nurses 10x better than Wyatt!!! She latches on needing very little help if any and will nurse at the most 10 minutes on each side ( I know this might change) and then she's good! Wyatt needed to use a shield then it would take almost 30 on each side and he would still act hungry! So we did bottles/breast with him until 3 months then he was all bottle. I'm not sure how long she will nurse, I am hoping she continues to do well with it!! I'm even getting better at nursing in public... At zaxbys and the park! I couldn't do that last time!

Monday night I was a wreck! That night God gave me a peace about everything and I was even able to get a full five hours of rest before we had to get up and head to the hospital. It was so weird waking up, taking a shower, dressing and loading up the car all to go have a baby. It's not how the movies portray it! After arriving at the hospital at 6:05 (we were five minutes late) I was called to the back to get ready for surgery. I'll be honest, I was very nervous but let me give you a quick run down of what happened (I also want this for my own reference so I can remember exactly what happens!)..... TUESDAY -blood pressure -answer lots of questions -take your temp -put gown on -they come shave you -start IV (they numb you up!!!! Thank goodness) -take blood -and then you wait....... Once wheeled to O.R....... -helped rolled on another table -sat up and leaned over for the Spinal -laid back because the warm tingle in your legs starts immediately and you can't feel much -prick ...

I should have gone to bed like an hour ago, however I have a million thoughts running through my head! Finishing last minute details on a paper due Thursday, last minute packing, loading cars, making sure Wyatt has everything he needs, taking a shower and fixing my hair, and the list goes on and on. I wanted to take the time to blog though because even though I have been randomly crying over the past few days and I'm very scared about this surgery tomorrow, I want to remember these feelings. I feel guilty, sad, nervous, excited, happy, upset, worried. Who knew you could feel all of these things at one time! Let me tell you... you CAN! tonight when I had to hug Wyatt and say goodbye, I lost it! I started crying, then let him down and he looked at me and said "Mama" and ran to me. I am crying again as I write this and I know he is fine! He is being taken care of, but i feel so guilty. I am leaving him to give life to another baby, when he is my BABY! Everytime I hold him, r...

The last two days helped me put things into perspective. On Tuesday night, at 2 am a storm came through and I literally thought the roof of my parents house was going to fly off! Storms are always worse at the lake, but this was BAD! We were staying on the third floor(4th if you count basement) and several times I contemplated getting up and gong to the basement, which would have been a smart idea! Luckily Wyatt slept right through it. I thought by the next morning the power would be back on-WRONG! So Wyatt got a healthy breakfast of three frosted donuts, a banana and some milk. We then entertained him while we managed to get ready, with no hot water and natural light. We ventured out of the house and that is when we noticed how bad the storm must have been. It looked like a tornado hit! Trees on the lines, trees on houses, trees uprooted, power lines snapped in half, we had never seen it this bad. Mom and I took Wyatt to Monkey Joes to get some of his energy out, then to eat lunch and...